Sex Is Not For Fun

There is this social undercurrent that you may get from "authorities" that sex is UNCLEAN, or FORBIDDEN, or DANGEROUS!

Then there is this social undercurrent that sex is FUN!

Wait.

That's no longer an undercurrent.

Sex sells. 

It's a cheap way to shore up your sagging sales performance rating or sagging locker-room reputation, or, well, any sagging image problem.

So everybody and their dog is selling it.

Except.

It's not cheap.
And it doesn't really shore up anything.

UNCLEAN, FORBIDDEN, DANGEROUS, FUN, it's all the same -- lies by partial truth.

Sex is fun! For a moment.

It releases those endorphins in the brain, and those endorphins are what recreational drugs and rock-n-roll and romance novels and fast cars and so forth are all about.

But when used as a drug, it's just like the rest of the list. When you are done, it lets you down.

Now, it doesn't let you down if you are doing it for the right reasons. Using it as a safe drug is not a right reason, and it isn't safe, no matter what the people who like the easy sell tell you.

What's the right reason to have sex with someone? Well, it's a lot easier to talk about a bunch of the wrong reasons, and I'm in rant mode, so I'll talk about those first.

Sex is dangerous! They tell you we have conquered syphilis, scabies, and herpes, and then they'll say herpes and scabies really aren't that bad anyway, and "we" are going to conquer HIV/AIDS real soon now, ...

Even if all of that talk about conquering all the sexually transmitted diseases were for real, there is still the problem of the heat of the moment.

In the middle of the endorphin rush, you tend to do stupid things.

So sex is dangerous. That's why you should keep it within marriage. Then it's not so dangerous. (It's still dangerous enough to be an adventure, though.)

Sex is forbidden!

Well, yeah. Random sex really is forbidden to anyone who understands the dangers. And doing things just because they are forbidden has always been a bit brain-dead, anyway.

Now, there is a class of philosophy that forbids sex except for making children, and even wants to forbid it then. Test-tube babies, and man-made drugs to get the endorphin rush.

(It ain't going to work. Sure, we can use the test-tube to help sometimes, and it's important to understand endorphins, but the whole idea of the endorphin rush is to help us overcome all the mechanicalities that we tend to pile on ourselves, whether we call them "the law of Moses" or "rational behavior" or "tradition!" or whatever. Well, not the whole idea, but one major part of it.

Sex is unclean.

Whether solitary masturbation or between properly married partners or in large group orgy, it's unclean.

This isn't just about micro-organisms and dirt. When you have sex, you share some intangibles, too, emotional things and intellectual things and spiritual things and social things and economic things. But no one seems to want to talk about those, because sex sells!


Now it can be clean, and sacred, if still a bit stinky (funky?), between partners properly married to each other and consenting to it.

But it's still not perfectly safe and clean within marriage. That is, even between properly married, consenting spouses, sex leaves things behind that, if not taken care of, just get messier. In the best of cases, it's hard to have sex without leaving body fluids on the sheets or underwear or various places where they can get sticky and smelly and moldy and make people sick and, hey, you know this is not clean.

Babies? Babies are messy, too, but we don't complain about them because it's obvious they have to be messy to grow up. And we were babies once, no matter how hard we pretend we were never that uncool.

(Well, there have been, and still are, some who say children should be seen and not heard. And mean that they don't want to be bothered. This is another bad sort of philosophy.)

But the fact that babies are wonderful in spite of being messy does not mean that we should ignore the possibility of making babies when we do the sex thing. Maybe it's not a danger like getting sick, but bringing a baby into this world without even the promise of support is something we should avoid when possible. And if the burden naturally falls on the mother, it should be obvious that the father should be willing to commit to shouldering his part. And there we are back to marriage.

Oh. Pregnancy definitely can have adverse effects on health, in spite of all the wonderful medical stuff we have in our "modern" world. And all the wonderful modern contraceptives don't always prevent it happening.

Because of those endorphins, many people want to pretend that sex should be free and easy without marriage.

But you can get that endorphin rush in lots of ways besides sex. Interacting with people gives us lots of opportunities to be nice to others, and being nice to them makes them feel good (even though they may pretend they don't like to feel good), and it also makes us feel good.

Mutual appreciation is not mutual masturbation no matter how many cynics say it is. Masturbation requires getting one's hands on the sex organ, whether literally or metaphorically. And there are plenty of ways to make each other feel good without getting into sex.

Anyway, the mutual agreement of support and exclusion made in marriage may not be perfectly iron-clad, but it's a whole lot better than the assumption that your partner-of-the-moment has probably come from some other messy tryst without bothering to clean up and is probably going to leave you without bothering to help you clean up, too.

Random sex is extremely messy. And it's so unnecessary.

So how can sex be a good thing?

Clearly, it's primarily a good thing between people who are married to each other, when they are both agreed to it.

That's when it can be fun and not let you down. That's when it can be an adventure without (usually) killing you. (Yeah, childbirth is still dangerous, but spouses are supposed to help each other, okay?) That's when being forbidden really means, yes, you can -- with this one person with whom you have made the mutual commitments of marriage. That's when it is sacred, and not unclean.

Just because sex is not for fun doesn't mean it can't be fun. With your properly married spouse.

Backup JMR201604261650: Economics 101, a Novel, ch_31a -- Reality

[This is a backup. The current version is at http://joel-rees-about-sex.blogspot.com/2016/04/economics-101-novel-ch31a-reality.html and I assume youll prefer to read that. 
(I recognized pretty quickly that Karel had left some important things unsaid, and you'll find those things on that page, not here.)]

(The story starts here: http://free-is-not-free.blogspot.jp/2016/03/economics-101-novel-ch00.html.

The previous chapter is here: http://free-is-not-free.blogspot.com/2016/04/economics-101-novel-ch30-fear-at-night.html  If you missed that, there will be some discontinuity here, so you'll probably want to go back and read it.)

This chapter contains sexually explicit material. Nothing to get too excited about, Bobbie and Karel aren't having sex or anything like that, but I don't want people who aren't interested in reading their discussion of important sexual matters stumbling on it by accident. You may prefer to read the modest version, instead.

The modest version of the chapter is here: http://free-is-not-free.blogspot.com/2016/04/economics-101-novel-ch31-reality.html.

---

Karel leaned forward as if in pain, hands forming fists over his knees, suppressing a groan. He didn't seem quite able to talk, seemed to be holding his breath.

"What's wrong?" Bobbie was not sure what to do. She moved closer to him and massaged his back, and felt his body shudder. Then she remembered some of her experiences as a nurse, and the light came on in her mind.

"Oh, dear. That was not nice of me, was it?"

"Ah, ... " Her words, and maybe her hand on his back, too, seemed to have a calming influence, and the fear and confusion in Karel's face faded and he started to breathe again. "No, it's okay." He took another breath. "Two more weeks. Then you can kiss me when I'm asleep all you want." He winced, and breathed deeply once more and groaned softly and shivered, rocking back and forth, holding his legs below his knees. 

"Are you gonna be OK?"

"Uhm, yeah, I think so. Gonna have to wash my underwear, though."

"Oh. Sorry about that." She felt awkward, knowing that the apology was, at the same time, both not enough and too much. "Can I do something to help?"

Karel chuckled. "You just did." Then he relaxed and lay on the ground laughing, or maybe sobbing.

And both of them were praying in their hearts for direction from God.

"Now what?"

"Good question."
 
"Ehrm, does this mean, ..."

"Mean, ...?"

"Mean we ..., I don't know what I mean. Do you know what I mean?"

Karel sat back up. "Did you intend to open my valves?"

"Ick. No!"

"Then you have not sinned, my daughter," he said, imitating a father confessor he had seen in a movie. (Mormon bishops are not father confessors, and would generally not use such phrasing. The Mormon approach to confessing is a little different, as you can see.)

"You're joking, and I'm a little scared."

"Well, what did you intend by kissing me?" Karel asked with mock strictness, trying to lighten the mood. Then he grinned.

And Bobbie relaxed, too. "I had a kind of an odd dream, and when I woke up, you were talking in your sleep. So I came around to check on you, and, well, you just looked so sweet and you were mumbling something that sounded like you were saying you love me, and I was feeling a little strange because of the dream," and Bobbie paused for a breath, "and I just acted on impulse."

"I don't think I see anything wrong with that. What was your dream about?"

"Oh. You remember the argument we had with Dan and Kristie in the cafeteria?"

"Dan. Kristie. When they told us how unfair it was of us to be dating other people when we were planning to do the research project together, even though we weren't thinking of ourselves as romantically together?"

"Yeah. That one. When they tried to argue that the unfairness meant we should just give up the research project."

"And then, instead, we both just admitted we guessed we'd been dating them too long. Boy were they upset. Not that I blame them, really. We had been dating them too long. And they started dating each other after that, didn't they."

"Yeah, they did. I got a wedding announcement from them about a month ago."

"You did? Wonder why I didn't."

"It came addressed to me, but it had both our names on it. Sort of. 'Bobbie and Karel Pratt.' I didn't want to show it to you at the time."

Karel burst out laughing, and Bobbie joined him, their laughter echoing across the moonlit island.

When their amusement subsided, Bobbie continued. "It was like that time, but how it might have been if everything that has happened in the last four months, including Wycliffe's kidnapping us, were just a long and detailed, continuing dream we had both had separately, together, to warn us to get married before we came."

"Really? Interesting."

"And I was dreaming it in the omniscient point of view. Pure Harlequin Romance stuff. You come in, dodge their questions, tell me you're having nightmares about being alone with me on an uncharted island. And I know what you mean, but I'm scared to admit it, so I quibble about you finding my company unpleasant. And you come just right out and tell me it's rather the opposite. And I say that, if we are going to be kidnapped, we should do something to avoid the nightmare. And you realize you hadn't mentioned the being kidnapped, so you know I must be having the same dreams as you. And Dan and Kristie have no idea what we are talking about, of course. And they are a little over the top with their attempts to defend their territory. And you and I walk off together to talk about making sure we would not be single."

"Sounds surreal, alright."

"When I woke up, I wasn't sure where I was at first. The dream had left something empty in me, but that emptiness went away as I recognized the stars and smells and sounds of the island at night. Even the hard ground was reassuring, but I suddenly wanted to hear your voice. I listened for you, and I guess I was going to crawl out to make sure you were there anyway, when I heard you talking in your sleep."

"Oh. And then I looked cute in my sleep and ...?"

"and I wanted just a little more reassurance that this is all real."

"Wow. So. You think you're happy here?"

"I don't think I'd be happy if this were taken away from us." Bobbie's face crinkled into a strangely shy smile. "What was your dream?"

"It isn't obvious?"

"Why would it be obvious?"

"Oh, well, we were arguing about something inconsequential, and I kept trying to tell you I love you. I love you, by the way."

"It's nice to hear. I love you, too. What were we arguing about?"

Karel winced and tilted his head as if he wanted to dodge that question. "Do you really want to know?"

"I told you what I dreamed."

"We had some disagreement about getting married. I'm not sure what it was. Maybe it was about the marriage license."

"Have we ever really argued? Oh. Yeah. Never mind. It's easy to forget. That was all?"

"You, uh, said you didn't want to wait, and started taking your clothes off, and I was trying to stop you."

"EW! YUCK!"

"See. Sometimes it's better not to know things."

"Well, maybe not so yuck." Bobbie wondered whether Karel could see her blushing in the moonlight. "Well, if you're going to dream about a woman taking her clothes off, I'd rather it be about me."

"Erm, I'm glad you're not offended."

"Dreams shouldn't be taken literally. Are you blushing? It looks like you're blushing, but I can't really tell in the moonlight."

"Yeah. I'm sure I'm blushing."

"Me, too. Well, should we go wash your underwear?"

"We? Together?"

"Are you forgetting the buddy system?"

"Oh. Well, we could wait for our morning swim."

"Won't it come out cleaner if you wash it now?"

"Probably. I guess we can go for a midnight swim."

And they both stood up and started walking toward the beach, but then Bobbie stopped. "Wait. This isn't going to work very well."

"Oh. Yeah. We aren't married yet. We can't go skinny-dipping together at midnight just yet. Otherwise, why would I have been arguing with you in my dream?"

And they both started laughing again and went back to the tent to change to their swimming suits.

They continued talking as they walked down to the beach, Karel carrying his soiled clothes.

"Will that always happen when I kiss you in your sleep?"

"Oh, no. I've just been, well, sort of practicing my endurance."

Bobbie gave him a quizzical look.

"We've talked before about my reasons for not always having a temple recommend before, ..."

"Yeah. You've tended to interpret the law of chastity as including a ban against masturbation. Your current bishop back home seemed to agree with you, and my bishop seemed to think he should call your bishop and ask why, but, at the time, we were still not admitting we were interested in each other, so he didn't."

---

Back around the 1960s or so, there seemed to be a bit of disagreement among the leadership of the Church on this point. Some people think there still is. For those who might have questions on the subject, I suggest discussion with your nearest bishop. Other than to say we are neither Pharisees nor hedonists, it is not my place to state Church policy on the subject.

---

"Well, I haven't masturbated since a little bit after I broke up with Kristie. Wait. That doesn't sound right."

"I know Kristie, and she is a sweet girl, but she was too physical with you. And I told her so, but she wouldn't listen. It's funny, but I don't think she was that way with Dan, at least not while we were there."

"I always thought that she and Dan had better chemistry. She seemed not to be trying to prove herself all the time the way she was with me."

"Did you go home after your dates with Kristie and get relief?"

"Ouch. That's a personal question. But, no, she wasn't that physical with me, even when we were alone."

"That's nice to know."

"The fluids build up anyway. And they have to be released every now and then."

"And we've talked about this before, and I've offered my opinion as a nurse."

"And some of the leaders of the Church say that the only legitimate way for the release to occur is nocturnal emission."

"Yeah, and we've talked about that, too."

At this point, they had waded into the water up to their waists, and Karel started to wash his underwear and trousers.

"And that was what I interrupted when I kissed you. So it was just a matter of bad timing?"

"Yeah. But if you make a practice of kissing me in my sleep, the fluids are likely to build up faster."

"Of course. I really was not thinking clearly."

"Middle of the night, strange dreams, and this ambiguous situation, it's hard to keep a clear head. For both of us. Okay, Turn around."

"Hmm? Oh. Yeah."

And Karel took off his trunks while Bobbie's back was turned and bathed himself in the salt water.

"So, anyway, you're worried about whether we have ruined our purpose in waiting until we have the marriage license to actually get married physically?"

"Nope. Now I think I understand better why we should wait."

And Karel was finished, and they went back to camp and went back to bed under the stars, with the tent between them.

"Stupid ambiguities."

"Good night Karel. Sweet dreams."

"Good night, Bobbie. And thank you for being you. I can't imagine why we ever thought we would not like each other."


(The link to the next chapter will be here when it's ready.)

(The chapter index is here: http://joel-rees-economics.blogspot.jp/2016/04/economics-101-novel-index.html)

Backup of unpublished Economics 101, a Novel, ch_31xxx -- Not Reality

[This was an early version that I never published, for reasons that are obvious if you bother reading it. I don't recommend reading it. Go back to the previous chapter to get the current, and, I think, best version.

The real previous chapter is here: http://free-is-not-free.blogspot.com/2016/04/economics-101-novel-ch30-fear-at-night.html.
]


(The story starts here: http://free-is-not-free.blogspot.jp/2016/03/economics-101-novel-ch00.html.
The previous chapter is here: http://free-is-not-free.blogspot.com/2016/04/economics-101-novel-ch30-warning-about.html)

---

Bobbie's eye's opened and she saw the now-familiar stars of the island skies and smelled the now-familiar sea nearby and felt the now-familiar sand and salt on her clothes, and listened to the now-familiar and not-so-distant surf. She felt disoriented, stuck between two roads forward, knowing she had to choose, but not sure what it was she had yet to choose. There was some vague pining inside her, but it was evaporating and drifting away in the island breeze.

Suddenly she wanted to hear Karel's voice. "Karel?"

The reassuring hardness of the bedroll on the ground gave her some confidence that the surreal scene she could still see in her mind's eye was in fact the dream, and that the island underneath her was real.

Wycliffe asked Hanaka, "Shouldn't we try to help her, maybe suggest she stay on her side of the tent?"

But Hanaka replied, "Then she'd never know for sure where she would have drawn the line."

"Karel?" She could hear a low mumbling, as if Karel were talking to himself. She crawled out of her bedroll and peeked around the other side of the tent at her study partner lying dreaming under the stars on his bedroll, talking in his sleep, and she smiled to herself.

"... mumble mumble Bobbie mumble mumble love you mumble mumble don't ..."

She suddenly felt an urge to kiss him in his sleep, and, acting on impulse, crawled over to him and did so.

"Ahhhhggggg!"

Karel rolled away violently and sat up with his back against the tent wall, not fully awake, genuine terror and confusion in his face.

"Bobbie! What are you doing?"

"Uhm, ..." Bobbie was a bit perplexed. She wanted to laugh, but the terror in his eyes was real, and did not seem to be fading. As he leaned forward, almost as if in pain, she realized what had happened.

"Oh, dear. That was not nice of me, was it?"

"Ah, ... " At her words, the fear and confusion in Karel's face faded and he started to breathe again. "No, it's okay." He took another breath. "Two more weeks. Then you can kiss me when I'm asleep any time you want." He winced, and breathed deeply once more and groaned softly and shivered, rocking back and forth, holding his legs below his knees. 

"Are you gonna be OK?"

"Uhm, yeah. Going to have to wash my underwear, though."

"Sorry about that. Ehrm, does this mean, ..."

"Mean, ...?"

"Mean we ..., I don't know what I mean. Do you know what I mean?"

"Did you intend to open my valves?"

"Ick. No."

"Then you have not sinned, my daughter," he said, imitating a father confessor he had seen in a movie. (Mormon bishops would generally not use such phrasing.)

"You're joking, and I'm a little scared."

"Well, what did you intend by kissing me?"

"I had a kind of an odd dream, and when I woke up, you were talking in your sleep. So I came around to check on you, and, well, you just looked so sweet, and you were mumbling something that sounded like you were saying you love me, and I just acted on impulse."

"I don't think I see anything wrong with that. What was your dream about?"

"Oh. You remember the argument we had with Dan and Kristie in the cafeteria?"

"When they told us how unfair it was of us to be dating other people when we were planning to do the research project together, even though we weren't thinking of ourselves as romantically together?"

"Yeah. That one. When they tried to argue that the unfairness meant we should just give up the research project."

"And then we both just admitted we guessed we'd been dating them too long, instead. Boy were they upset. Not that I blame them, I guess. We had been dating them too long, really. Did they start dating each other after that?"

"Yeah, they did. I got a wedding announcement from them about a month ago."

"Wonder why I didn't."

"It came addressed to me, but it had both our names on it. 'Bobbie and Karel Pratt.' I didn't want to show it to you at the time."

Karel burst out laughing, and Bobbie joined him, their laughter echoing across the moonlit island.

When their amusement subsided, Bobbie continued. "It was like that time, but how it might have been if Wycliffe's kidnapping us were just a dream we had both had, to warn us to get married before we came."

"Really? Interesting."

"And I was dreaming it in the omniscient point of view. Pure Harlequin Romance stuff. You come in, dodge their questions, tell me you're having nightmares about being alone with me on an uncharted island. And I know what you mean, but I'm scared to ask, so I quibble about you finding my company unpleasant. And you come just right out and tell me it's rather the opposite. And I say something about if being kidnapped we should not be single, and you realize you hadn't mentioned the being kidnapped, so I must be having the same dreams as you. And Dan and Kristie have no idea what we are talking about, of course. And they are a little over the top with their attempts to defend their territory. And you and I walk off together to talk about making sure we would not be single."

"Sounds surreal. Remembering it makes all the more surreal, I guess."

"When I woke up, I wasn't sure where I was. The dream had left something empty in me, but that emptiness went away as I recognized the stars and smells and sounds of the island at night. Reassured myself I was, in fact, here. I listened for you, and I guess I was going to crawl out to make sure you were there anyway, when I heard you talking in your sleep."

"I see. So you are happy we are here, together?"

"Yeah. What was your dream?"

"Oh, we were arguing, and I kept trying to tell you I love you. I love you, by the way."

"It's nice to hear. I love you, too. What were we arguing about?"

Karel winced and tilted his head as if he wanted to dodge that question. "Do you really want to know?"

"I told you what I dreamed."

"You were taking your clothes off, and I was trying to stop you."

"Hmm." Bobbie wondered whether Karel could see her blushing in the moonlight. "Well, if you're going to dream about a woman taking her clothes off, I'd rather it be about me."

"Erm, I'm glad you're not offended."

"Dreams shouldn't be taken literally. Are you blushing? It looks like you're blushing, but I can't really tell in the moonlight."

"Yeah. I'm sure I'm blushing."

"Me, too. Well, should we go wash your underwear?"

"We? Together?"

"Are you forgetting the buddy system?"

"Oh. Well, we could wait for our morning swim."

"Won't it come out cleaner if you wash it now?"

"Probably. I guess we can go for a midnight swim."

They continued talking as they changed clothes and walked down to the beach.

"Will that always happen when I kiss you in your sleep?"

"Oh, no. I've just been, well, this is birds and bees stuff."

"I guess."

"Guys get stuff bottled up inside them, too."

"What do you mean?"

"Didn't your mom or you dad or someone explain this?"

"Yeah. And I studied a bit about the male physiology in my pre-nursing classes, too. But everyone seems to be embarrassed to talk about it, and there's stuff no one tells you. Like what happened just now."





"Oh, that's nice. I want another kiss, and then I'm going down to the sea. And we don't want to forget the buddy system in the middle of the night." Karel stood up and came over to her and she stood up and gave him another kiss. Then he went into the tent and got out a clean pair of underwear, and they walked barefoot together to the sea.
"What was your dream about?"

"That you're committed to live forever on this island?"
And she hit him over the head with his underwear.

"Okay, okay. Not the island forever."

They were at the waterline.

"Hmm. This is going to be awkward. I should be asking you to hold things for me so they don't get dirty, but I should not be asking you to watch me while I wash them wearing my birthday suit."

"Why should I turn around any more?"

Karel stood there, truly perplexed.

"We were unwise when we did not clarify our feelings for each other before we came. That was our sin. But we did not ask to be here, now

---

---

(The link to the next chapter will be here when it's ready.)

(The chapter index is here: http://joel-rees-economics.blogspot.jp/2016/04/economics-101-novel-index.html)

Economics 101, a Novel, ch_31a -- Reality

[This chapter has been superceded. Go here, instead: http://free-is-not-free.blogspot.com/2016/04/economics-101-novel-ch30-fear-at-night.html.]

(The story starts here: http://free-is-not-free.blogspot.jp/2016/03/economics-101-novel-ch00.html.

The previous chapter is here: http://free-is-not-free.blogspot.com/2016/04/economics-101-novel-ch30-fear-at-night.html  If you missed that, there will be some discontinuity here, so you'll probably want to go back and read it.)

This chapter contains sexually explicit material. Nothing to get too excited about, Bobbie and Karel aren't having sex or anything like that, but I don't want people who aren't interested in reading their discussion of important sexual matters stumbling on it by accident. You may prefer to read the modest version, instead.

The modest version of the chapter is here: http://free-is-not-free.blogspot.com/2016/04/economics-101-novel-ch31-reality.html. 

[Edit JMR201604261655: I realized that I had failed to record important parts of Karel's and Bobbie's conversation. Backup of the first posted version is at http://joel-rees-about-sex.blogspot.com/2016/04/backup-jmr201604261650-economics-101.html]  

[Edit JMR201605012049: Added a little moralizing at the end.]

---

Karel leaned forward as if in pain, hands forming fists over his knees, suppressing a groan. He didn't seem quite able to talk, seemed to be holding his breath.

"What's wrong?" Bobbie was not sure what to do. She moved closer to him and massaged his back, and felt his body shudder. Then she remembered some of her experiences as a nurse, and the light came on in her mind.

"Oh, dear. That was not nice of me, was it?"

"Ah, ... " Her words, and maybe her hand on his back, too, seemed to have a calming influence, and the fear and confusion in Karel's face faded and he started to breathe again. "No, it's okay." He took another breath. "Two more weeks. Then you can kiss me when I'm asleep all you want." He winced, and breathed deeply once more and groaned softly and shivered, rocking back and forth, holding his legs below his knees. 

"Are you gonna be OK?"

"Uhm, yeah, I think so. Gonna have to wash my underwear, though."

"Oh. Sorry about that." She felt awkward, knowing that the apology was, at the same time, both not enough and too much. "Can I do something to help?"

Karel chuckled. "You just did." Then he relaxed and lay on the ground laughing, or maybe sobbing.

And both of them were praying in their hearts for direction from God.

"Now what?"

"Good question."
 
"Ehrm, does this mean, ..."

"Mean, ...?"

"Mean we ..., I don't know what I mean. Do you know what I mean?"

Karel sat back up. "Did you intend to open my valves?"

"Ick. No!"

"Then you have not sinned, my daughter," he said, imitating a father confessor he had seen in a movie. (Mormon bishops are not father confessors, and would generally not use such phrasing. The Mormon approach to confessing is a little different, as you can see.)

"You're joking, and I'm a little scared."

"Well, what did you intend by kissing me?" Karel asked with mock strictness, trying to lighten the mood. Then he grinned.

And Bobbie relaxed, too. "I had a kind of an odd dream, and when I woke up, you were talking in your sleep. So I came around to check on you, and, well, you just looked so sweet and you were mumbling something that sounded like you were saying you love me, and I was feeling a little strange because of the dream," and Bobbie paused for a breath, "and I just acted on impulse."

"I don't think I see anything wrong with that. What was your dream about?"

"Oh. You remember the argument we had with Dan and Kristie in the cafeteria?"

"Dan. Kristie. When they told us how unfair it was of us to be dating other people when we were planning to do the research project together, even though we weren't thinking of ourselves as romantically together?"

"Yeah. That one. When they tried to argue that the unfairness meant we should just give up the research project."

"And then, instead, we both just admitted we guessed we'd been dating them too long. Boy were they upset. Not that I blame them, really. We had been dating them too long. And they started dating each other after that, didn't they."

"Yeah, they did. I got a wedding announcement from them about a month ago."

"You did? Wonder why I didn't."

"It came addressed to me, but it had both our names on it. Sort of. 'Bobbie and Karel Pratt.' I didn't want to show it to you at the time."

Karel burst out laughing, and Bobbie joined him, their laughter echoing across the moonlit island.

When their amusement subsided, Bobbie continued. "It was like that time, but how it might have been if everything that has happened in the last four months, including Wycliffe's kidnapping us, were just a long and detailed, continuing dream we had both had separately, together, to warn us to get married before we came."

"Really? Interesting."

"And I was dreaming it in the omniscient point of view. Pure Harlequin Romance stuff. You come in, dodge their questions, tell me you're having nightmares about being alone with me on an uncharted island. And I know what you mean, but I'm scared to admit it, so I quibble about you finding my company unpleasant. And you come just right out and tell me it's rather the opposite. And I say that, if we are going to be kidnapped, we should do something to avoid the nightmare. And you realize you hadn't mentioned the being kidnapped, so you know I must be having the same dreams as you. And Dan and Kristie have no idea what we are talking about, of course. And they are a little over the top with their attempts to defend their territory. And you and I walk off together to talk about making sure we would not be single."

"Sounds surreal, alright."

"When I woke up, I wasn't sure where I was at first. The dream had left something empty in me, but that emptiness went away as I recognized the stars and smells and sounds of the island at night. Even the hard ground was reassuring, but I suddenly wanted to hear your voice. I listened for you, and I guess I was going to crawl out to make sure you were there anyway, when I heard you talking in your sleep."

"Oh. And then I looked cute in my sleep and ...?"

"and I wanted just a little more reassurance that this is all real."

"Wow. So. You think you're happy here."

"I don't think I'd be happy if this were taken away from us." Bobbie's face crinkled into a strangely shy smile. "What was your dream?"

"It isn't obvious?"

"Why would it be obvious?"

"Oh, well, we were arguing about something inconsequential, and I kept trying to tell you I love you. I love you, by the way."

"It's nice to hear. I love you, too. What were we arguing about?"

Karel winced and tilted his head as if he wanted to dodge that question. "Do you really want to know?"

"I told you what I dreamed."

"We had some disagreement about getting married. I'm not sure what it was. Maybe it was about the marriage license."

"Have we ever really argued? Oh. Yeah. Never mind. It's easy to forget. That was all?"

"You, uh, said you didn't want to wait, and started taking your clothes off, and I was trying to stop you."

"EW! YUCK!"

"See. Sometimes it's better not to know things."

"Well, maybe not so yuck." Bobbie wondered whether Karel could see her blushing in the moonlight. "If you're going to dream about a woman taking her clothes off, I'd sure rather it be about me." And she giggled, of course. Wouldn't you giggle?

"Erm, I'm glad you're not offended."

"Dreams shouldn't be taken literally. Are you blushing? It looks like you're blushing, but I can't really tell in the moonlight."

"Yeah. I'm sure I'm blushing."

"Me, too. Well, should we go wash your underwear?"

"We? Together?"

"Are you forgetting the buddy system?"

"Oh. Well, we could wait for our morning swim."

"Won't it come out cleaner if you wash it now?"

"Probably. I guess we can go for a midnight swim."

And they both stood up and started walking toward the beach, but then Bobbie stopped. "Wait. This isn't going to work very well."

"Oh. Yeah. We aren't married yet. We can't go skinny-dipping together at midnight just yet. Otherwise, why would I have been arguing with you in my dream?"

And they both started laughing again and continued talking as they went back to the tent to change to their swimming suits.

"So my kiss helped you?"

"Why do you want to ask such a question?"

"Just curious. You said I had helped you already when I asked if I could help."

 "Oh. That was the talking to me and rubbing my back. But I'm not going to trade that kiss for all the gold in the world. Just, not until we get married properly. No more 'til then, please."

And Bobbie gave Karel a hug. "Thanks. You change first."

They changed in silence, both thinking their own thoughts. After changing, they continued talking as the walked to the beach.

"Will that always happen when I kiss you in your sleep?" Bobbie asked.

"Oh, no. I've just been, well, sort of practicing my endurance."

Bobbie gave him a quizzical look.

"We've talked before about my reasons for not always having a temple recommend before, ..."

"Yeah. You've tended to interpret the law of chastity as including a ban against masturbation. Your current bishop back home seemed to agree with you, and my bishop seemed to think he should call your bishop and ask why, but, at the time, we were still not admitting we were interested in each other, so he didn't."

---

Back around the 1960s or so, there seemed to be a bit of disagreement among the leadership of the Church on this point. Some people think there still is. For those who might have questions on the subject, I suggest discussion with your nearest bishop. Other than to say we are neither Pharisees nor hedonists, it is not my place to state Church policy on the subject.

---

"Odd that we would talk about such things even though we weren't interested in each other."

"We just felt comfortable together. Mom and Dad both noticed that."

"Well, I haven't masturbated since a little bit after I broke up with Kristie. Wait. That doesn't sound right."

"I know Kristie, and she is a sweet girl, but she was too physical with you. And I told her so, but she wouldn't listen. It's funny, but I don't think she was that way with Dan, at least not while we were there."

"I always thought that she and Dan had better chemistry. She seemed not to be trying to prove herself all the time the way she was with me."

"When you went home after your dates with Kristie did you have to get relief?"

"Ouch. That's a personal question. But, no, she wasn't that physical with me, even when we were alone."

"That's nice to know. I didn't think she was the kind to try to hold a guy by keeping him frustrated."

"The fluids regularly build up anyway. And they have to be released every now and then."

"And we've talked about this before, and I've offered my opinion as a nurse."

"And some of the leaders of the Church say that the only legitimate way for the release to occur is nocturnal emission."

"Yeah, and we've talked about that, too."

At this point, they had waded into the water up above their waists, and Karel started to wash his underwear and trousers.

Bobbie continued, "And that was what I interrupted when I kissed you. Dreams that often occur with nocturnal emissions. So it was just a matter of bad timing."

"Yeah. But if you make a practice of kissing me in my sleep, the fluids are likely to build up faster."

"Of course. I really was not thinking clearly."

"Middle of the night, strange dreams, and this ambiguous situation, it's hard to keep a clear head. For both of us. Okay, Turn around."

"Hmm? Oh. Yeah."

And Karel took off his trunks while Bobbie's back was turned and bathed himself in the salt water.

"So, anyway, you're worried about whether we have ruined our purpose in waiting until we have the marriage license to actually get married physically?"

"Nope. Now I think I understand better why we should wait. Is it going to be hard?"

Karel put his trunks back on. "I don't think so. I'm done. Do you want to bathe while we're here?"

"Mmmm No, I'll do that in the morning, like usual. Let's go back to camp."

"Okay." And they headed back to camp.

"It's funny about this," Karel said as they went. "When I'm with you, the stresses are good or something, and the seminal fluids don't build up so fast."

"Hmmm. That's kind of neat. Nice to think I'm so good for you."

"I hope I'm as good for you."

"You are. The feelings I have now are the best feelings I've ever felt. Can sex be any better than this?"

"Mom told me once that the pillow talk was more important than the acrobatics."

"You didn't have to say that."

"Woops."

"But, all those people getting excited about sex, and they're missing the best part?"

"I shouldn't have said that. We can find out more when we are properly married. For now, this is good enough for me."

And they fell silent, and just held hands as they walked back to camp. After they hung up their swimsuits and Karel's clothes to dry, they went back to their bedrolls under the stars, with the tent between them.

"Stupid ambiguities."

"Good night, Karel. Sweet dreams."

"Good night, Bobbie. And thank you for being you. I can't imagine why we ever thought we would not want to be married to each other."

---

[JMR201605012049
Some people will say that Karel is rationalizing.

If you lean that way, I'll ask you -- is he rationalizing his own behavior?

Is he making excuses for Bobbie because he wants her to do it again?

Is he using a moral bribe, trading forgiveness for her lapse of control for his future imposition of a meaningless imitation marriage license?

I guess I'll have to (sometime) add chapters 1 through 9, to lay groundwork for my claim that our co-protagonists really do love each other, but I'll admit that we really can't know for sure what Karel intends at this point, relative to their eventually being rescued. I personally think that being so suspicious of people's intentions tends to lead more away from happiness than towards.
]

(The link to the next chapter will be here when it's ready is here: http://free-is-not-free.blogspot.com/2016/04/economics-101-novel-ch32-weaving.html.)

(The chapter index is here: http://joel-rees-economics.blogspot.jp/2016/04/economics-101-novel-index.html)

What I Am Not Doing Here

This is not intended as a place to get your forced dopamine rush.

It is intended as a place where I can talk (mostly to myself) about things of explicit nature, rants that I would not want you to stumble on without warning.

Some posts will be more detailed versions of posts to my other blogs, or additional detail for posts to other blogs.

As such, I'm telling the search robots to stay away, and taking it off of google+ .

If you link to something here, I'd appreciate it if you mention, just before the link, that it may not be safe or comfortable reading.