Thoughts on Homosexuality

[This is a rant from back in 2018 that I was never able to finish properly. Some things about it just don't work on several levels.]

http://guerillamormonism.blogspot.jp/2018/01/getting-different-answers-to-prayer.html

Now, there are people who believe that there is such a thing as homosexuality. I personally believe the whole thing is a misunderstanding of sexuality.

Some people pray and believe that God is telling them that they are homosexual. I could guess at all sorts of reasons, but I know that at least some of my guesses will be wrong for any particular person.

One thing I could guess at concerns all the teenage jokes about sexuality. Come on. Teenagers have no idea what sexuality is. If the popular kids at school tease a less popular kid about his or her sexuality, they are almost guaranteed to be wrong. But that assertion doesn't help everyone. I don't know that it will even help anyone except me. I know it helped me.

Another guess I could make concerns the question of whether people have some inalienable right to find a passionate romance. Or whether a "rich, nuanced sex life" is even something to be desired.

The first big love of my life would have been miserable married to me. When I realized that, I bowed out of her life.

If I had married the second big love of my life, I would now be miserable. When I was trying to recover from that breakup, a bishop who had gone through a similar breakup advised told me that he thought maybe he was happier with someone who had not initially ignited the passion in him.

And I eventually settled for a relationship which I had to work at from the outset.

I can't even fathom, now, giving any weight at all to sexual attraction, unless it is within an already existing marriage relationship. Nor can I fathom an attraction within marriage that is not the product of the two partners' efforts to be each other's friend at all levels of intimacy they dare or deem wise. And I can't fathom thinking that the product of such efforts should ever be considered not enough sexual attraction. I know that even the physical relationship is not all about sex.

There are more important things.

These are my own answers. They were not always, but they are now, and I don't believe they are wrong, even though I know they won't work for everyone.